I got married and moved abroad, which failed after 6 months. He has bipolar disorder which he told me about when we started talking again. He was a fantastic salesman and very charming. At one point he stopped drinking for several months and even saw a therapist. But he decided he didn’t like the therapist because the therapist focused on his “drinking problem” and made him feel bad.
Firstly, I suffer with BPD and am currently seeking two forms of psychiatry help which has help me improve dramatically. For me, if you treat me good, I will treat you good too. If you treat me twink app like crap, I will either treat you as so, or leave. I am quite self-aware and know that I am not the only person who is. I am a honest, thoughtful, outspoken, positive, and caring individual.
Borderline personality disorder
Every relationship can benefit from working on communication skills. Communication is even more important when it comes to having a partner with BPD. It’s easy to get defensive, take things personally, and shut down when we’re hurt. People with BPD can look for signs that their romantic partner is smothering them, which can also lead to them withdrawing emotionally and physically from the relationship. Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder is a theory of BPD where mood swings and behaviors are directed inward, rather than out towards others. This could be because you purposefully broke off the relationship for fear your partner might do it first.
Can a person with borderline personality disorder feel love?
Has never retained a job consistently for longer than a few months. Each girlfriend he has there was always a reason for him to justify leaving her because she was not good enough for him. Somehow he can spin a web around anything to make it look like everyone else is wrong because he can see their weaknesses……….their Achilles heels. He can systematically find every single fault and weakness in every human he crosses. He leaves everyone in a precarious place where they can’t possibly argue against him because one nugget of vulnerable truth is all he needs to zero in for the kill.
He did say that hes giving so much of himself to others that he hardly has anything left for himself. But I just feel a bit lost… I don’t know where this is heading and that didn’t matter before but we have been talking since October. He works very odd hours, so when he texts me very late , 3/4am he normally wants to ”sext”. When I haven’t spoken to him in a few days I want to catch up first, also my moods fluctuate from intense/passionate/excited a lot where as he is very constant. So if he is in a talking mood, he cant be physical, when he is in a physical mood, he cant talk. When he tries to sext me, sometimes im in a very talkative mood.
Enlist the help of a couple’s therapist
We talked for a while and he wanted to stay, I told him I was working on my stuff and couldn’t deal with his, that was his own journey, and that I needed some space and to develop some trust. Though I did not condone the bad behavior and walked away when it was happening, I did go back eventually because I could see he was hurting, likely reinforcing the thought I would accept it. The guy I’ve been dating for the past 6 months is a medical doctor. A brilliant, witty, funny, drug addicted, alcoholic, chain smoking doctor. Today, I feel that he enjoyed the fact that I liked him. He tested me, he tested if his “emotional pick up skills” work.
But this is a recipe for resentment, depression, burnout, and even physical illness. The fear of abandonment can also manifest as hostility. “In the last few weeks of my last relationship, I was breaking up with them, saying I was going to leave a few times, and being really spiteful,” Mae says.
All because he claimed she didn’t love him and he needed to feel loved. He also indicated there was some sexual abuse as a youth, and his father totally abandoned him and the family as well as being very verbally and physically abusive to all the children. I know he’s suffered dearly from this lack of attention, but he won’t face any of this or discuss it further with me anymore. Unfortunately, the misconceptions surrounding borderline personality disorder often lead people to assume relationships with those who suffer from the condition are doomed to fail.
It’s important that you understand that men and women with BPD come from different, usually darker upbringings that you and I. Relationships are about commitment – instead of looking for that interest in your partner, look for signs of commitment. It all starts at these deep-rooted beliefs and fantasies we developed over a long-period of time starting from our childhood. I know that BPD relationships are complicated. Things just happen and before we know it, we’re caught up too deep to pull ourselves out. Furthermore, it is recommended for the person with BPD to have individual therapy as well.
They might feel very sad one minute and very angry the next. Sometimes, they do dangerous things or hurt themselves. I was involved with a man with bpd and after the first month, lots of observations, I was thinking “what the hell?
To manage it, they may need to make you the “bad guy” for a while. It’s highly advisable that you also focus on your emotional needs, mental health, and personal safety. Their willingness to work on managing their symptoms isn’t up to you. People with borderline personality disorder can be extremely effective and nurturing parents, but because the symptoms of BPD can be very acute, this takes considerable effort for many people. People with this disorder have a tremendous need to be loved, yet their excessive behaviors keep them constantly on the verge of losing that love.